he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
