i need an iv and a liver transplant
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
