for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
