it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
