Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
