Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
