I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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