Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
