I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
