i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize