dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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