names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
