just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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