OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
