I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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