Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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