I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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