is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
