can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
