called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
