i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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