My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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