I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
