Is it because I queefed?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize