I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
