Betty ford says i'm here all night
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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