9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
