On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
wow bdsm is so cute
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
