Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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