we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize