but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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