May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
