she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
