Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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