Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He kissed a someone with a penis
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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