She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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