I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize