To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
