no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
