Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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