I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
