I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
