I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
