I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
