I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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