I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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