Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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