I think I died a long time ago.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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