Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
