do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
