Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
