shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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