just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
