She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
