we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
