How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
