So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
