Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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