My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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