Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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