Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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