erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize