i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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