who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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