she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
