I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
