can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize