I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
