I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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